Glory

I had some pretty amazing experiences in Chicago. One of them, I got to meet Rhymefest. Not only did I get to meet him but I got to introduce him as a keynote speaker - which meant I got to hang out with him in the green room before showtime.

I'll be honest, I didn't know who Rhymefest was before I got to Chicago. But I learned and he immediately became someone I admire and respect.

Look him up. He's incredible! He writes 'movement music' (including 'Glory' from Selma. OMG) and believes that the true power is the kind of power that empowers other people. Man. Me too. The words he spoke landed on me and I knew they were true. Words of love for others, words of justice, words of 'we are all in this together so let's help each other.' I loved it. All of it.

When I was tasked to introduce him I was encouraged to talk about the intersection of art and activism. And then it dawned on me that we are all artists - if we know it or not. If we practice it or not. Art is getting finding ways of exposing and expressing our hearts - music, word, drawing, painting, the way you dress yourself, the way you treat others - it's all art. We are art. The way we live our lives is art.

The people I met in Chicago - all the participants from all over the country have desires of justice and freedom inside of them. I feel like it is our collective and individual obligation to the world to share those desires. Our world needs it, I need it, we all need it.

People are so much more complex and amazing then we sometimes remember. Living in the confines of societal norms is suffocating. Art breaks away form that. It helps allow us to be all of us at all times and normalize things and people that aren't 'normal.'

If your heart is screaming good - equality and justice for all - expose it. Our world needs more artists like that!

Consider the company you keep

My heart is smiling. I am feeling thankful and need to express it.

Today I am thankful for the people that are close to me in my life.Without question life get's tough and there are things we don't have control over - but we have control who we spend our free time with. The people I choose to spend my time with make my heart smile. They help me see the good in the world as they remind me of my good. They inspire me with their dedication to their own hearts and they have desires of making the world a better place.

If you're feeling a low, I would encourage you to consider the company you keep. Who do you spend your free time with? What are the types of conversations you participate in? What sorts of activities do you engage in?

As the people in my life remind me of my good, I strive to do the same. Let's expect the best from each other

Authenticity

It's early - 3am Seattle time, 5am in Chicago. I'm in Chicago. I went to bed a few hours ago but can't sleep because my heart and my mind are so full of excitement, gratitude and I am overflowing with ideas. I just finished mapping out strategies and plans to execute when I get home.

I'm motivated and inspired yet I feel like I have been hit by a dump truck. I mean, yes, I'm tired because there has been a significant lack of sleep but inspiration is something exhausting because when you're inspired to make any sort of change the needed amount of time and work that has to be invested is sometimes staggering.

Which makes me wonder, how many times have I been inspired but the time and work linked to the inspiration was too much?

It also makes me wonder where inspiration comes from. Yesterday I was sitting in a conference room and heard multiple speakers sharing best practices about different subjects. Some things resonated with me, others didn't. The interesting thing, the things that didn't resonate with me totally landed on my colleagues and sparked feelings of inspiration.

So my thought - what the hell is that about, people being compelled by completely different things? Do feelings of inspiration that causes action lead us where we are supposed to go and to who we were meant to be? Does following inspiration lead us to more complete lives and away from the thoughts of, 'what is life all about anyway?'

I like to think yes.

And I'm not talking about crazy change your life inspiration. Sometimes the thoughts we have about being a little kinder, speaking a little less and listening more, speaking better of your own self - action on those small thoughts can start you on a new path of wonder and unlimited possibilities. I say that because I did that.

Since I've been in Chicago I have felt like pinching myself on several occasions. I am living a life that I used to dream about. When I first arrived in Chicago a couple days ago I walked in a room of colleagues, people I have grown to love and respect beyond description because we all want to make life better for the people around us.

Rewind several years ago. I didn't think kindly of myself much less pay much attention to what I could do for other people. I was ashamed to share my real thoughts and feelings with people. I was ashamed how I was born - gay - which didn't allow me to be my true and authentic self.  Now authenticity is my most cherished attribute.

When I am on top of a mountain I am thankful that not every mountain looks the same. I am thankful for the different species of tree, flower and rock that make each view different and beautiful and interesting. So it is with people - we are all unique and different and interesting. Our differences make the world dynamic and beautiful and have the ability to teach us love, compassion and acceptance. When we consciously try to be different than who we are we are we are totally dis serving the world - especially ourselves. Because we were born to be ourselves!

Among the inspiration I have felt the last few days,  I have been inspired to be kinder to myself. To love myself more. To recognize my goodness and to stand confidently in it. And it's funny, when I recognize and practice the goodness in myself, I recognize the goodness in everything around me. Give it a try, it's pretty cool!

Introduction

Hi, let me introduce myself.
I am Chelsea. Chelsea Nelson. I don't have a middle name. Just Chelsea.
Im not Jesus or Mother Theresa or Gandhi
Im Chelsea. 
I’m a woman and I’m gay. 
I’m a dreamer and a believer. 
I’m a daughter and a sister. 
A lover and mother; a mother to a dog but a mother nonetheless.
I'm Chelsea.
I'm a victim and a survivor. A fighter and a thriver. 
And I'm a poet. 
My words are the heart of me. 
My poems are the art in me. 
I need to stop hiding them like a teenage boy hides pornography.
I'm Chelsea.
I am mostly happy and mostly positive.
Please, don't tell me I'm not a real poet if I choose to write and speak about joy.
Gandhi said to be the change you wish to see in the world and Michael said look in the mirror and make the change
And I felt like they were both talking to me.
Too bad I started to listen when I was 25
Ben Harper said that he could change the world with his own two hands and when I heard that song I thought that I was singing. It wasn't. I can't sing. But I can dream.

I'm not Dr. King but I have a dream. 

I dream that when you see me, you see me. Not my sexuality or the strength of my perceived spirituality. Or, I dream that you do see those things but that it doesn't matter.
I dream that when I see you I don't see that youre black or white or yellow. Or I dream that I do because that makes you you and I want to see you. But I dream that  your color doesn't determine your treatment.

I mean it matters that there were and still are slaves and that gays can't get married everywhere in this country and it matters that in Kansas it was seriously being proposed that a police officer didn't have to help a homosexual if homosexuality went against the officers religion.

I'm Chelsea and I have a dream.
I'm Chelsea and I have more than 15 trillion cells that makes me me. 
They work together every second of everyday to make me this way.
They make me move and make me want to improve. 
Cut away the color of my skin. Cut away that I like women. Cut away that I am a woman. Cut away that I used to be a practicing Mormon.
I have bones and blood and a heart and mind
Keep on cutting, you'll never find my soul

I'm Chelsea. 
I have two terminal parents and siblings that are best friends
My real best friend was killed in a car accident

I am Chelsea
the perpetual lover of life and the person who can look on the bright side of most situations
but not because I haven't felt pain. So don't suggest it.
It's because when I was cuffed to a hospital bed after trying to die I gained an appreciation for the air
I was so glad that I could breath and I couldn't believe how pretty everything was

I am Chelsea
The always smiling girl that was dying behind that smile
until one day, I wasn't.

Because one day I decided to be the change I wished to see in the world. To be it. To talk about it. To write about it. To live it. And everyday when I look at the woman in the mirror, I say, 'hey, can we make a change? Can we be a little better? A little kinder? A little more like the person you were born to be?" I don't always get it right but I do sometimes.

Yesterday is gone and right now is the present so I would like to present to it, me, Chelsea. 
An ambassador for life and for things that are good and just so I'm not misunderstood, I want to make clear that I know that there is bad. 

I know that there is homophobia and racism and sexism. I know that people die - literally and metaphorically.
I know that girls are getting raped by their fathers and their brothers and by strangers too and that mothers know about it and do nothing because they don't know what to do. 
I know that that boys are getting raped too.
I know that there are people living on the streets and that some have nothing to eat. 
I know that people live without a tangible love or without a tangible anything beside their own body which doesn't feel tangible at all.
There is so much pain and sadness in the world.

But I will talk about the good. 

Because I'm Chelsea, the change I wish to see.

My airplane

Right now, this very second I am on an airplane headed to Chicago. Every time I am on an airplane, which is about twice a month these days, I am amazed the moment the wheels leave the ground. I usually turn to the person sitting next to me and express my feeling of awe. Think about it, right now I am sitting in a metal tube that is 30,000 feet in the air that is flying! FLYING! It’s incredible! And to add to the wonder of it, I am sitting in this metal tube tinkering on my computer like it’s normal. Haha. Nothing about this is normal yet everything about it is normal…

A few rows up from me is the wing. I can see it out the window. I can see a lot of little screws holding things in place and I can see pieces of metal move up and down as the plane maneuvers. I wonder how many different pieces make up this plane. Thousands? I am guessing millions.

I can’t help but imagine what the early days of flight were like. There must have been intense and expensive trial and error processes. It makes me think about the people who invented these massive machines and the frustration they must have experienced and the dedication they must have demonstrated! I am thankful for them, whoever they are. (I know about the first people credited with creating the planes but I am sure there were a lot of other nameless people who were involved with the process!)

Flight is absolutely a blessing in my life! Flight allows me to see my family that is scattered across the country several times a year and it allows me to help a lot more people in my line of work than I would be able to with out it. Flight has allowed me to see beautiful sights and experience different cultures. The miracle of flight has produced a lot of little miracles inside of my own heart because of the experiences it has allotted me.

Right now I am headed to Chicago for the Young Worker NextUp Summit. It’s a conference that is meant to inspire positive and progressive change in our communities. What does that mean? It means inspiring people to fight for better jobs, higher pay, better benefits, gender equality, diversity, etc. My work feels like my airplane.

Last summer I went to Leavenworth, WA to float the river. I feared that my sunglasses might fall off during the float because  the river was low and there were small rapids. My sensitive eyes don’t do well in the sun without sunglasses so I bought some chums – a handy little devise that ensures your glasses won’t fall off your head. As I was floating down the river I felt totally connected to my heart and I wished that moment for everyone on the planet. I wanted everyone to have opportunities to experience what nature does for me.

For me it’s nature – being in the mountains away from the business of life. The smells, the sounds, the colors – I love everything about being in the mountains! For Erin it’s working out. Before my mom got sick running was the thing for her. I think my dad would say the beach is his spot. For some people it might be writing or getting lost in a good book or eating at a certain restaurant. Whatever it is for people, I wish we could all have more of it.  Because I believe that life is supposed to enjoyed as much as possible!

The question I ask myself daily, how can life be enjoyed for those that don’t make enough money to support themselves or their families even though they work really, really hard?  How can people create moments of enjoyment when they can’t go to the doctor because they don’t have insurance? How can kids dream big when they go to school and get bullied for this or that?

I can’t create an airplane because it already exists (and I’m not good with machinery J ) but I strive to create positive change that will bless the lives of others. And the cool thing about it is everyone can do that - no matter their line of work. A little practice, awareness, dedication and perhaps some trial and error is all it takes. A helping hand, a listening ear, compassion, putting an end to gossip and encouraging acceptance and love.

Just like the different colors and strokes on my painting, everyone is different. When we work together and for each other and realize we are all in this together, beautiful things are sure to be the result!

Paint Night

Just like most adults in America, I work a lot. There have been weeks in the past year where I've spent more time in front of some sort of screen - computer, phone and TV - then I spend in front of anything else except for maybe my eyelids while I'm asleep. It's sad but it is totally true. I spend hours at work in front of the computer and in front of my phone - sometimes at the same time even and then I come and wind down watching one of my favorite mindless TV shows. A few months ago I had enough with my newly formed routine (it seems every winter this routine somehow is formed). I knew that I wasn't doing what I wanted to do so I told Erin, my soon to be wife, that I was going to be screen free at home (with few exceptions).

So she planned and took me to Paint Night!

We got to Paint Night and walked into a room with I don't know, probably 30 paint stations set up with blank canvases, paint, paint brushes and water.  At the front of the room was a beautifully and what seemed to be perfectly painted Seattle skyline with Mt. Rainier in the background. Erin and I giggled a bit when we were told that we were going to paint something similar on our blank canvas (with help from an instructor, of course). 

We sat down and the instructor told us to put some paint on the brush and go for it. He explained how to make different colors and demonstrated a few different painting techniques. He showed us how to make mountains, clouds and buildings and then we were left to transfer what we had learned onto our our own canvas. 

Three hours later I had a masterpiece and I was surpassingly proud of it. Erin had a master piece too - so did everyone else in the class. Yet all the masterpieces were different. Similar but different. 

I started to think about my life and how it relates to my experience at Paint Night. Every day, maybe every decision even, I am adding to the canvas of my life. When I look at my Paint Night painting that is now hanging on our wall I can visually see the areas that came easy and others that were more difficult. The same happens in my life.

The parts of my painting where I messed up and had to paint over what I originally painted are my favorite parts of the painting. Those parts are dynamic and colorful and interesting. Sound familiar? Does that sound like life? 

I have a lot of thoughts about life and love and happiness. I want to share them. I want to share them mostly for me but if my thoughts resonate with others to provoke positive thoughts or positive change, I'm totally into that!  

Welcome to Paint Night.